GendersInX.org

Subject: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Sun Dec 02, 2007 4:46 pm

MY SON, MY STRUGGLE
Mother of an intersexed child
(c) 2007

Edited and Translated from the French by Curtis E. Hinkle, Founder of the Organisation Intersex International
The name of the child is replaced by _____ for privacy.

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Sometimes life can have surprises in store for us. Sometimes they are good, sometimes bad. However, they are also unforeseeable, even unbelievable.

I am the mother of a young girl 7 years old and of a little "boy" 15 months old. The birth of our son is still engraved in my memory and will remain so for a long time. Our son is a hermaphrodite, also known as intersexed.
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The first part of this diary is now available in English on OII's website at:

http://www.intersexualite.org/Mother.html
_________________
Beaming rainbows of hugs,
Curtis
http://tinyurl.com/2kv4dw

Subject: moving story Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:38 pm

What a moving story to read please let us know when you have the next part i've saved this so my wife can read it god bless the family.
boB

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:45 pm

Curtis, Please let me know when part 2 has been translated, a very moving story.
_________________
larry@GendersInX.org
myspace.com/lstarbuckw
Be The Change:
Dare to forgive.

"Some go to church and think about fishing, others go fishing and think about God."

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:36 pm

I most definitely will let you know. It has a good ending.

I will relay to the mother how interested you are. That will make her very happy to know that other people can related to her struggle and her coming to terms with her own child.
_________________
Beaming rainbows of hugs,
Curtis
http://tinyurl.com/2kv4dw

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:01 pm

Ok, now that I have cleared the tears from my eyes and calmed down I can say how moving that was. I am on tender hooks waiting for the next part!

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:43 am

OK, now that I have cleared the tears from my eyes and calmed down I can say how moving that was. I am on tender hooks waiting for the next part!

I back what you have said Dianne as a Father of a son who had a fight to get into this World i knew how the mother felt at times but our son is a healthy baby now it was fight to stay a live my wife had her appendixes out at 20 weeks after she took server pains it was 50 / 50 if Lewis would live if she went into labour her op took 6hrs i was walking up and down the labour ward waiting on News and seeing all mum's & dad's with there New born babies all thoughts go through your mind will i be able to hold my child, cuddly him, give him my love, feed him, kiss him when he is upset it was the worse 6hrs of my life.

My wife & my son both made it and my wife gave me a Loving son on 02/06/2006 a baby i thought I'd never able to have as I'm 47xxy Lewis was a DI baby.

luv boB

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:18 am

I think I speak for all of us here, Curtis. Please give this mother all the heartfelt warmth and support from the members of GendersInX and we hope to see her here so that we can converse. Enough of us here can understand french and we will be more than happy to translate for anyone.

Andre
_________________
Andre@GendersInX.org
www.GendersInX.org
www.ParentsInX.org
OII-Canada : Outreach and support for the Intergender Community

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:00 pm

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:32 pm

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:16 pm

Dear Bob, Larry, Dianne and André,

I shared your feedback with the mother. I know that she will be delighted to know that her story was understood by intersex people. She has struggled so hard to understand us and to work through all the health issues her child has.

Dianne, I am so touched that this account helped you understand your own past a little better. That makes me very pleased because it means that this text will not only be of interest to parents but to many of us also. My heart goes out to you.

Bob, I don't think I have had the pleasure of meeting you. I looked through the forum but did not see your introduction. Please forgive me if I have not welcomed you. Let me welcome you and I would like to know more about you. Please let me know where your introduction is if you have posted one. I want to read it.

André, I have told the mother about your invitation. Thanks very much.

Larry, thanks so much for your interest and for your kindness to me.
_________________
Beaming rainbows of hugs,
Curtis
http://tinyurl.com/2kv4dw

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Mon Dec 03, 2007 10:18 pm

We never understand fully until one hears the mothers point of few, what the mother has gone through and it makes me think about everyone's mother and what they dealt with, with their child. Most of us only think about what we as individuals have to deal with or live with for the rest of our lives, never thinking about what the parents had to go through. I thank you much Curtis for allowing me to hear this mothers story because it has changed the way I look at my parents and what they had to deal with with me as a child. They did not know back then I was XXY but something was wrong and they dealt with it as best they could.
_________________
larry@GendersInX.org
myspace.com/lstarbuckw
Be The Change:
Dare to forgive.

"Some go to church and think about fishing, others go fishing and think about God."

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:45 pm

Hi Larry,

I feel that anything that can help us understand parents better is a good thing too. I found what you wrote very interesting. I know many children who were not recognised as intersex at birth and some of them are very atypical and their parents, like yours, know it very early.

Thanks so much.
_________________
Beaming rainbows of hugs,
Curtis
http://tinyurl.com/2kv4dw

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:05 am

Curtis, thank you so much for this link. I could relate to a lot of this mother's story. Thankfully we had none of the medical issues to cope with as well.
Please let her know that another mother, in a similar situation, appreciates her courage in sharing this story. She will be helping more people than she will ever know.

Nicole
_________________
MamaNiq - crunchy mom to my little monkey

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Tue Dec 04, 2007 8:55 am

Dear Nicole,

She will be delighted to receive your message. She is so frightened that people will not understand and be very judgmental. But that keeps a lot of us from ever daring to speak openly.

What I liked so much about this was that it was real, honest. She speaks openly about how hard this all was and she does not blame everything on just one group of people. She is just a mother who loves her child and willing to grapple with some very difficult issues. In many ways, she has come further in dealing with her denial than many of us who are intersexed have. Now that is impresseive.

Thanks so much for sharing this with me and I will make sure she gets your message.
_________________
Beaming rainbows of hugs,
Curtis
http://tinyurl.com/2kv4dw

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:14 am

Dear members,

Here is a response from the mother to all of you:

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I took a little tour of GendersInX but I confess that the language barrier caused me problems. So I am very sorry but it is too complicated for me. But any way, I want to really thank all of them with all my heart.

I personally want so much for things to change for our children.
For all the parents who suffer from not being able to talk about their child's difference and for all the parents who cannot express their own outrage, this story is for them. But is it also for the intersex people in the world.

_________________
Beaming rainbows of hugs,
Curtis
http://tinyurl.com/2kv4dw

Subject: Re: MY SON, MY STRUGGLE Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:47 am

Curtis;

Please express our gratitude for her diary. She has touched the lives of many and caused them to realise that they were not at fault, that circumstances brought them to this point and that thier healing can now begin. In one swoop, telling of her story, caused many to mend gaps with thier own parents and a new understanding of themselves has now evolved. Years of talking did nothing in comparison with her story, it touched all our lives and now we can deal with ourselves better.

From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you. There aren't enough words to describe our gratitude.

Andre
_________________
Andre@GendersInX.org
www.GendersInX.org
www.ParentsInX.org
OII-Canada : Outreach and support for the Intergender Community

An Encouraging Support for People with Congenital Gender Variations All points of view, if presented in a civil manner, are welcome.

An Encouraging Support for People with Congenital Gender Variations
All points of view, if presented in a civil manner, are welcome.